Before you began to read this, please know that I am not against the idea of loving someone nor I stand against the desire to be loved. The thought behind this post is let you know that wishing to spend your life with someone who loves you unconditionally is natural but if you’re unhappy and using your partner as an oasis, then you need to get your shit together.
A plethora of memes and listicles have successfully established themselves on the internet. With the onset of the Valentine’s week they gear up on their respective tasks of creating a stupid creature who is frustrated with his life because Valentines Day is approaching and he is single.
The ‘remorseful single being’ shows up with a dialogue paired with an expression of pity or extreme disgust often borrowed from a work of cinema. And it looks something like this.
I don’t understand why at all there is a need to console oneself or others for not having someone to share an evening. If by any chance my blog happens to reach the meme makers I would love them to know that there are better ways to contribute to the society then to strive hard, willing to be felicitated with the award of “Who aced nonsense”.
Valentines Day is a one day affair and the days which will follow will be an amalgam of good and bad times. Refrain your heart from believing that you will lead a wonderful life once you will find someone who thinks you are beautiful. If you spend your life looking for love by trying to find someone who thinks you are crazy beautiful , you won’t find love. If you believe you can be nourished by this kind of affection, you will be disappointed.
They empty their pockets on THE DAY and buy you the best presents possible. Some even try on borrowing money from their friends. You receive those presents in a marvelous setting, lit with fragranced candles and the surroundings ornamented with tokens of love.
You feel special. They find themselves talking to you a lot, telling you things they have never told anyone else. You both conclude this must mean that your connection is special.
They get brownie points.
And you ?
You load your baggage of emotional dependency on them and your degree of happiness falls in proportion to the efforts they put to justify their love. You like it when they go across the limits to make both ends meet. And for this I seriously encourage you to reevaluate your standards of basic human decency and awareness.
We are humans. And not everything in our life can unfold in the order of our imagination. Like I said in my previous post “ Nothing turns out how you think it will”.
The time you fail in saving your relationship , you get hurt and curse yourself to the point of getting depressed. You conclude that life has been typically unfair to you.
Let me get it straight.
You are solely responsible for your sorrow.
From the very beginning , if you think you love someone because they’re always on your mind, you are not focussed on other really important things. And that’s a problem.
Real love fits into real life, rather than usurping it. It’s calm, not overwhelming.
That’s not to say you don’t (or can’t) really love them, but “the pleasure they give you” (or, in dependent cases, the pleasure you give them) can never be the foundation.
Either way, all I know is that when love aligns in the right way, it feels really good. You embrace each other as individual human beings with individual human being lives , who just happened to get along enough to bump down the road alongside each other.
If you are happy with your life and your partner adds to it , then congrats. You win. And when it doesn’t, and they claim more of you than you offered or chose, it’s heart-wrenching and typically unhealthy for your mental being and for the people who actually care about you.
I am sure that you don’t want this to happen.
And there is only way you can stop it.
By comprehending the fact that we humans, are complete on our own — our partners are not the “ other half” and it is not the job of the opposite sex to bring a set of characteristics to the table.
Thank You for reading 🙂
Have a Good Day !