Surviving Bereavement

” Although the world is so full of suffering , it is full also of the overcoming of it.”

– Helen Keller

Sustaining a severe bereavement whether it makes way into your happily led life through the end of a serious relationship or the demise of a loved one, can be super arduous and challenging. You feel like your mind has been squashed from all the sides and made narrow and crooked. You put together all the terrible circumstances, run through the series of events that pushed you to began an ardent relationship with crying spells and eventually you have to bottle up your emotions believing that fate has gambled with your life, your life depends on the turn of the dice and that you don’t have any powers of your own. You cry thinking of your past days which were very pure in their sadness and you can’t do anything about it. 

” Do not lose your inward peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.”

– Saint Francis de Sales

Fortunately, I have never been through any critical phase of bereavement but I have seen my close ones lament and feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears but they don’t let those tears come out because we are not supposed to cry. They don’t realize that it’s okay to be sad. You don’t owe anyone a performance of being okay when you feel like you’re falling apart. It isn’t your job to smile or hide your truth to make other people feel more comfortable. If it gets awkward, let it be awkward. If people try to silence your pain by telling you to get over it and cheer up because you’re no longer fun or you’re ruining the mood, you don’t have to push away your sadness. You have to honor your feelings and trust that you don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to feel what you feel.

I got the blues thinking about the future, so I left off and made some marmalade. It’s amazing how it cheers one up to shred oranges or scrub the flowers.

– D.H Lawrence

Whether by breakup, death or divorce, each one of us must withstand the loss of persons close to us, and the way we react and cope with it is essential to help resume normal, healthy lives. You have to keep yourself strong and command your inner self to make room for a fresh and happy beginning , and live the way you have always wanted to  – with dignity, with courage, with composure.

Here I am sharing a few ideas which can help you retain your person-hood after a breakup or loss, and help ease the transition out of loneliness.  

  1. Your number one priority should be your happiness.
  2. Don’t expect social media to help you cope up with your stress.
  3. Avoid potentially stressful situations.
  4. Don’t over-analyze the past and look to the future instead.
  5. Surround yourself with relatives, friends and people who love you.
  6. Don’t rely on pills or alcohol to put you in a better mood.
  7. Cry. Cry is a natural release for emotions.
  8. Don’t blame yourself for past mistakes, learn from them.
  9. Anger is baggage. Pack it up and send it away.
  10. Don’t expect anyone else to meet your inner needs. Learn to meet them yourself.
  11. Keep magazines and books beside the bed in case you wake up during night.
  12. Don’t let anyone pressure you into dating. Take plenty time for yourself.
  13. Work the daily crossword puzzle.
  14. Frame one of your drawings or photographs.
  15. Writing is the solution to everything- it expresses feelings we can’t even talk about.
  16. Read the biography of someone you admire.
  17. Be thankful for each morning.
  18. Listen to the birds sing before you get out of bed.
  19. Talk to people who have ” been there”.
  20. Silence the nagging voice in your head.
  21. Cook yourself a favorite food that only you can appreciate.
  22. Light a scented candle.
  23. A smile will do wonders for you and those around you.
  24. Allow yourself to rest but don’t become a couch potato.
  25. If photos or memories are weighing you down, put them away or get rid of them.
  26. Take your dog for a daily walk.
  27. Pursue a long forgotten dream.
  28. Put up a bird feeder outside your window.
  29. Keeping a daily journal of your thoughts is a worthwhile project.
  30. Take the time to do some serious browsing in a bookstore or library. 
  31. Clothes you no longer wear or want may be needed by someone else. Donate them to charity.
  32. Allow others to nurture you.
  33. Spend a Sunday pampering yourself. Start off with the newspaper and fresh coffee or herbal tea.
  34. Your work environment is one of the constants in your life, so keep it pleasant.
  35. Keep fresh flowers on your desk.

Lastly know that no matter how you feel, you are healing.

If you read this blog and you feel that the given ideas may help someone get over their grieving period and in embracing the potential of their untapped dreams and possibilities which lie ahead , then please make an effort to share this blog and help in making someone’s life better all over again.

Happy Reading 🙂

 

 

 

 

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